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|SAM interviews REX and SHROOB REX
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|Author:||Sam [ Sun May 31, 2015 2:06 pm ]|
|Post subject:||SAM interviews REX and SHROOB REX|
(Want to get in that Lemmy's Land spirit? Listen to this while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOC0ig2Rk1g)
Sam is sitting in a chair backstage, engrossed in Xenoblade Chronicles for the 3DS.
Sam: Alright Despotic Arsene, this time, THIS TIME I'll kill you, I swear it! Stupid little overpowered rabbit...
Wizenheimer and Marie walk in.
Marie: Hey Sam! We're gonna start the interview in a few! Are ya ready to go?
Sam: Oh yeah! So who exactly am I going to be interviewing this evening?
Wizenheimer: Hold on a sec. HEY! GET IN HERE, YA PREHISTORIC PUNKS!
The door is thrown open as both that annoying Rex and a larger Shroob Rex enter the room.
Rex: Indeed, it is me! Are you prepared to ask a dragon anything, my good man?
Sam: ...well, at least that running gag gets some pay off. But if it's going to keep you off my case, why not?
Rex: Good, good! Glad to hear it, my good man!
Sam: Not a problem! But uh, what's with the Shroob Rex?
Rex: Oh, that's just my cousin Skarg, he came down all the way from outer space so he could take part in this!
Sam: Not that talkative, eh?
Sam: If only your cousin would follow your example!
Wizenheimer: Alright you three, enough clownin' around! The interview's gonna start soon, soon get your keisters in gear!
Sam: Aye aye! Nose mouth!
Sam: Xenoblade's been rubbing off on me. Sorry!
Marie: Alright ya'll, we're goin' live in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
Announcer: Coming to you loud and proud from Mushroom City, heeeeeeere's Sam!
Sam: Hey there, ladies and gentlemen! I'm sorry that Geoff can't be here to greet you all, he ran off towards the Acorn Plains for some reason! But hey, I'm glad I get to at least temporarily win back the privileges of starting an interview!
Audience Sworm: So uh... what's so interesting about doing that?
Sam: I dunno. I just like feeling that I'm in control. But anyway, let's not stand on ceremony: I have two draconic guests here ready to be interviewed, one of which who wouldn't stop pestering me!
Rex: Hullo, beautiful people!
Sam: So today, we get the privilege of asking these two just about anything! So Rex-
Rex: My name is George, if you will.
George the Rex: Indeed! Call it generic if you will, but my parents did named me after St. George!
Sam: The guy who killed a dragon?
George: ...I'll talk to them about that later.
George: Oh shut up, Skarg!
Sam: Hey, HEY! I'm trying to interview you two, you know!
George and Skarg: Sorry.
Sam: Not a problem. * sigh * But anyway! George, there's one thing I've noticed about your kind: Rexes seem pretty rare. How come we haven't seen you guys in more games?
George: Well, we are native to only two places on Plit: the Beanbean Kingdom and Dinosaur Land, so it is only natural for us to appear very rarely! Not only that, but Rex culture focuses a lot of the importance of family's sticking together, so you do not tend to see a lot of Rexes outside of those two areas unless it is an entire family of them.
Sam: Eh, makes sense. So Skarg, are Shroob Rexes aliens that resemble Rexes, or are you guys normal Rexes altered by the Shroobs.
Skarg: Answer B: Shroobs invaded Dinosaur Land and transformed us through experimentation.
Sam: Ah, direct and to the point! Unlike your verbose cousin over there-
Sam: I'm kidding, relax! But anyway George, I have another question: how come you guys have such compressible bodies? Is there a point to it besides obstructing your vision?
George: Well, us Rexes are very large and stocky creatures if you haven't noticed! That makes getting through small spaces a pain, so through crouching, we can shrink our bodies through said spaces! The speed boost is another large plus! Unfortunately, it hampers our vision a bit and as Mario showed, compression can be forced just by exerting force on our heads!
Sam: I can only imagine! So Skarg, why were your kind altered by the Shroobs in the first place?
Skarg: Princess Shroob wanted monsters to feed Plittians to.
Sam: Are you talking about in a way similar to Lions in a gladiator/execution pit like in Ancient Rome?
Skarg: Yeah. We were also created to serve as palace guards.
Sam: Ah, gotcha! So George, are your kind related to the Yoshis in any way? I can't help but notice that Rexes and Yoshis look pretty similar.
George: We are only distantly related, yet share a common ancestor! Unfortunately, they won the super-power lottery and us Rexes are sadly very average.
Sam: Oh yeah, that's why you can only charge forward, right?
George: Actually, we can breathe fireballs! The problem is that they travel slowly and not that far, so we usually do not bother.
Sam: Now that's sad! Skarg, Shroob Rexes have a ton of abilities! I take it that it's all thanks to science?
Skarg: Yep. Being Shroobified isn't fun, but it's worth being able to make shockwaves and spit boulders.
Sam: Eh, I guess being a genetically modified weapon has its uses! George, Rexes are shown to flutter jump a bit before attacking in the Mario and Luigi games. Are you guys able to flutter jump long distances like Yoshi's?
George: Sadly, no. We can barely cover any distance with our flutter jumps, so we basically use them as a way to show aggression towards our enemies.
Sam: Skarg, what was working with the Shroob Princesses like? Did you like them, did you dislike them, what?
Skarg: Princess Shroob was alright I guess. She'd often visit us and deliver motivational speeches regarding her conquest of Plit. Didn't know Elder Princess Shroob since she was trapped when we were created.
Sam: Alright, I'll be asking one more question and this is one I want the both of you to answer, then it's time for audience questions! Were either of you present during any of the games?
George: Not me, no. I am a Dinosaur Land native, but I was at home while most of our kind decided to enlist with the Koopa army.
Skarg: I was one of the Shroob Rexes in Partners in Time. Dunno which one, but I fought alongside another one of my kind and two Soul Bubbles.
Sam: Alrighty, it's time for audience questions! Oh man! Seat LEGENDARYHEROPON!
Riki (Xenoblade Chronicles): Does both Dinobeasts want be in more Mario games?
George: I don't know if it would be me specifically, but I could see us Rexes being enemies in a future Mario platformer. I mean, Galoombas, Charging Chucks, and Reznors have been making comebacks, so why not us? As a personal choice I would love to appear in a golf game because I find golfing to be positively relaxing and a fun way to spend a warm summer afternoon!
Skarg: I appeared in an RPG game. My chances don't exist.
Riki: But bigger Dinobeast must want to appear in game!
Skarg: Nope. Now shut up, your voice is grating.
Riki: Meh meh meh! Dinobeast big and rude!
Sam: Alright mighty Heropon, settle down now! Seat IMABLOWUPNOW.
Bulky Bob-Omb: The name says it all pipsqueak, I'm gone!
Sam: WAIT! Before you explode, do you have any questions?
Bulky Bob-Omb: Oh. Well Mr. Rex, How well do Yoshi's and Rexes get along?
George: While all of the Rexes encountered in Super Mario World were enemies who attacked Mario and Yoshi, those were all members of the Koopa Troop. As a whole, us Rexes and Yoshis get along, though we don't interact much. We tend to keep to ourselves.
Bulky-Omb: Alright, now... my time's up, pipsqueak! I'm gone!
The Bulky Bob-Omb explodes. Thankfully, no one else dies since everyone sitting in the blast radius had enough common sense to get away during his question.
Sam: Hey, Sergei! You need to step up your game! A fourth of my audience almost got wiped out because you thought letting in a blast-happy Bob-Omb was a good idea!
Sergei: My apologies, Sam. This will never happen again, I promise.
Sam: Alrighty then, I'm glad you understand! Seat 24!
Toadbert: Shroob Rex!
Toadbert: Well erm... Skarg, since Princess Shroob has been long dead, what all happened to your kind? I would have thought that the babies tears being launched across the kingdom would have wiped you all out, or at least changed you back!
Skarg: A lot of us including myself retreated under the castle's sewers when we were defeated. We all moved to the Deep Dark Galaxy soon after that.
Sam: Oh, did you now? How come we didn't see you guys during Super Mario Galaxy?
Skarg: You don't see everything during those games, only important bits.
Sam: Oh, like how in Euro Truck Simulator it's basically set in a shrunk-down Europe? I get you! Seat WHATTIMEISIT?
Reyn (Xenoblade Chronicles): Reyn Time!
Sam: HAHAHAHA! Aw man, I love that quote so much! How cool is it that we have two Xenoblade Chronicles characters in the audience?
The crowd is silent while George and Skarg glare at Sam.
Sam: No? Anyone? ...I'm sorry. But anyway, do you have a question, Reyn?
Reyn: Yeah! How come you lot are so easy to beat! You'd think that big honkin' dragons would be so much tougher to fight!
George: Like I said, blame our species for losing the superpower lottery!
Skarg: Shroob Rexes are strong, thank you very much.
Mario: Not-a all that tough compared to other enemies in the castle!
Skarg: Now listen here you-
Sergei: Calm down, or else I beat you till you bleed then throw you out.
Sam: Alright, I need to cool my jets with the Xenoblade stuff. Seat 553!
Bumpty: George, are those wings of yours just for show?
George: No, we can hover a bit. However, it takes a good amount of effort and we cannot fly far at all, so they may as well be.
Skarg: As for Shroob Rexes, it's about the same.
Sam: Bummer! Alright, let's wrap this up with one more question: Seat KATHUNKATHUNK!
King Kathunk: Any of you two enjoy video games?
George: Anything involving golf is good enough for me!
Skarg: Gone Home.
Skarg: I kid. I like the Dead Rising series a lot. Especially 2.
Sam: Oh man, now Skarg's my kinda guy for sure! I love Dead Rising... but anyway, I guess that will be all for today! George, Skarg, thank you both for being such good guests this evening!
George: It was our pleasure!
Sam: Alright then, everyone, you all have yourselves a wonderful evening! Thank you and good night!
(The audience rises from their seats and leaves)
Sam: So George, am I right in assuming that from this point on, there will be no interruptions during interviews?
George: No sir, my urges have been satisfied!
Sam: Well, that's good to know! It's kind of sad though... I was growing attached to you... HEY! You two, would either of you mind joining my interview crew?
Wizenheimer: Whoa now Sam, that doesn't sound like a good idea! Geoff's the boss, so he'd be the one to decide if he should recruit anyone onto our crew or not!
Lee: Indeed! So for now, we've gotta send these boys on home!
Sam: Okay, okay...
George: Oh well, it was still fun while it lasted! Farewell, Sam!
Skarg: Bye bye.
Sam: Man, how cool would it have been to have a Rex and a Shroob Rex on the crew?
Wizenheimer: Eh, it's been done. You're no copycat, aren't ya?
Sam: Nah, that's right! So, is Geoff going to be back soon?
Lee: That's a negative! He's going to be gone for quite a while, so it's up to us to decide who's interviewin' who!
Sam: Alrighty then! I just wonder what he's up to...
Meanwhile in the Acorn Plains, Geoff's head can be seen poking through the leaves of a Super Acorn tree. He's looking around with a pair of binoculars, determined to find something in the distance.
Geoff: Aw man! You'd think that a castle would be pretty easy to find! I wonder if they've learned how to utilize camouflage, or other kinds of stealth tactics... AHA!
To the east, the outline of a castle can be seen on top of a hill.
Geoff: Oh man, I bet Sam's going to be so excited for this! Assuming of course if this guy wants to play along... eh, if he doesn't, I can just tie him up and drag him to the studio! No wait, that would basically be a declaration of war... I'll figure something out, I guess!
Geoff heads off towards the castle, whistling a merry tune while he travels...
(Author's Notes: Doing a dual interview was very fun! I always liked Rexes and wanted to have both a Rex and Shroob Rex on the interview team as an homage to P.T. Piranha, an inspiration to a younger me back on the site since he did the same! However, I thought it would be cramping his style, so it's a no-go. :p And my apologies for the Xenoblade references, I just beat the game lately and I LOVE IT! Anyway, I totally need to get back to writing my Popple and Crump story, but I'm busy with other stuff. Besides, I want to do more interviews, assuming I'm not annoying anyone by spamming them on this board.)
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