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PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 11:37 am 
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(Want to get in that Lemmy's Land spirit? Listen to this while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp8LTbJrZVc)


About an hour after the previous interview, Lemmy's broken-down airship is still sitting uselessly in the interview studio after having demolished a wall. Polly, Sergei, and Lee are barking orders at construction Koopas, Marie the Fishin' Boo looks as perky as ever, Wizenheimer and Sam are sitting on lawn chairs drinking apple cider, Stuart is slithering around happily, and Geoff is getting chewed out by Lemmy.

Lemmy: Really Geoff? Was destroying my airship REALLY necessary? And look where it got you, your interview studio is a complete wreck too! And should I forget that you KILLED one of your crew members?!

Geoff: Lemminator, my boy! Take it easy, everything's okay! We have JUST enough money to repair the wall and your ship, and Marie's fine! I mean, look at her and how happy she is! Hey Marie, how's it hanging?

Marie: Nice and peachy, hun!

Lemmy: …eh, if she's not torn up about it I guess I shouldn't complain.

Geoff: Indeedarino! Though it's gonna be hard to interview now what with all the construction going on around here...

Lemmy: Hey, who says that you need to interview? Take these next couple of days to kick back and relax! Life shouldn't be about working from sunrise to sunset, it should be about having the time of your life!

Geoff:No can do, Lemmy! I'm an adult, as are all the guys in our crew! We have resigned to our fates as slaves to the machine, working from wage to wage knowing that things won't get better! And you know what? That's A-OK! Plus, I have a super fun plan for us to keep on interviewing. HEY GUYS, FRONT AND CENTER!

The entire crew crowds around Geoff.

Geoff: Alright party people, listen up! As of now, we're officially taking our interview show on the road! I want you all to have your bags packed by sunrise and make sure you have all the necessities needed for a trip like this! We're touring the world, hopping from place to place interviewing local people! So how does that sound?

Sam: Oh, that's awesome! I've always wanted to go on a road trip!

Wizenheimer: Eh, it's a nice change of scenery I guess.

Polly: No objections here, Geoff.

Sergei: Same here, boss.

Lee: It sounds quite exciting, sir!

Marie: Whoo hoo! That's pretty dang cool!

Stuart: Oh man, a road trip! Now that sounds a lot of fun!

Geoff: So you just won't quit hounding me, huh? I swear, trying to shoo you off is like trying to get warm chewing gum off of the bottom of a shoe!

Sergei: I wish for him to stay, boss. My little friend is quite capable of hosting interviews, he helped me with Plessie.

Geoff: Wait a second, you let him interview without my permission?! You went right behind my back and deliberately disobeyed me?!

Sergei: My apologies boss. I just like having him around.

Geoff: ...eh, you know what? If he pulls his own weight and you clean up his slimy trails, he's welcome to stay! But you and I need to have a talk some other time. Got that?

Sergei: Understood.

Geoff: Good. Now welcome to the team, little yucky blob dude!

Stuart: The name's Stuart, and thanks for accepting me!

Geoff: Not a problem. Now everyone, let's get to packing and get some shut-eye!

Everyone retreats back to the studio and gets packed. The next morning, everyone scrambles outside to a huge bus painted like a Banzai Bill with a logo emblazoned on the sides labeled “PARTY WAGON”.

Geoff: Alright guys, load 'em up and let's move out!

As everyone begins loading their luggage in the back area, George the Rex and Skarg the Shroob Rex mosey on over.

George: Well hello there, my good man! You lot seem quite busy.

Skarg: Your studio's been demolished.

Geoff: Oh hey, it's that Rex from the old running gag! And I see you bought a friend!

Skarg: Cousin.

Geoff: Cousin Schmuzin, they're the same thing! Anyway, we had a bit of an accident yesterday, so I'm taking the interview crew out on the road for some excitement and adventure!

George: Oh, a road trip? Now that is quite exciting, I'm jealous!

Skarg: Same.

Sam: Oh hey, Geoff! I interviewed those guys while you were away! They wanted to join the crew and I liked them a lot! Would you be willing to let them join us?

Geoff: Nope, the crew's fine as it is! BUT road trips are more fun when more people are involved... hey you two, there's plenty of room on our bus if you want to come along!

George: Oh happy day!

Skarg: Yay.

Geoff: And Mr. Announcer, you can come too!

A Microgoomba can be seen hopping in joy.

Mr. Announcer: Whoo!

Geoff: Now, everyone! The pages, no interview yet, so let's get a move on!

In the space of fifteen minutes, everyone takes their seats on the bus and sets off for parts unknown with Sam at the wheel.

Sam: Oh man, this is so exciting! So exciting that it just may be compelling me to SING!

Wizenheimer: Oh geez Louise...

Polly: Please, not this early in the morning...

Sam: *singing * Movin' right along in search of good times and good news! With good friends you can't lose!

Geoff: * also singing * This could become a habit!

Sam: Opportunity knocks once, let's reach out and grab it!

Geoff: YEAH!

Sam: Together we'll nab it!

Geoff: We'll hitchhike, bus or yellow cab it!

Sam: Cab it?

Geoff: Movin' right along, footloose and fancy-free!

Sam: Getting there is half the fun; come share it with me!

Geoff: Moving right along!

Sam: (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon) We'll learn to share the load!

Geoff: We don't need a map to keep this show on the road!

Polly: ...so, are you two just going to sing and goof off, or are we going to interview someone?

Geoff: Oh Polly, you do have a point, m'dear! I wanted to interview someone while we were on the road, but I forgot to bring an interviewee along!

Geoff looks out the window and sees a Galoomba walking on his way to work.

Geoff: Aha, out there! Sam, slow down a bit!

Sam: Uh, sure?

Sam gets the bus to slow down while Geoff opens the window. In a flash, he snatches up the Galoomba with a bug net and shoves him into the bus.

Galoomba: Hey, HEY! What's the big idea?!

Wizenheimer: Whoa, boss! Are you seriously kidnapping the guy?!

Sam: Oh come on, we're not even out of the city and already you're breaking the law!

Galoomba: Come on, I'm a working man! I can't afford to miss my job, I have a wife and kids to feed!

Geoff: Hey, simmer down there buddy!

Galoomba: Simmer dow- BUT YOU KIDNAPPED ME! Let me off the bus THIS INSTANT you psycho!

Geoff: Sir, relax. Relaaaaaax. All you have to do is answer a few questions and you're free to go!

Galoomba: That's it?

Geoff: Yup. That's all!

Galoomba: Well... alright, but you BETTER do what you say, or I'm calling the police.

Geoff: I will! Scout's honor! Now, play us off Mr. Announcer!

Mr. Announcer: Coming to you loud and proud from inside a bus, HEEEEEEERE'S Geoff!

Geoff: Hey there, fellow roadies! How's it hanging this morning?

Wizenheimer: I'm trying to nap here, ya obnoxious jerk.

Polly: I too wish to sleep. That's hard to do when you insist on bellowing at the top of your lungs.

Geoff: Oh cheer up, you grumps! 'Cause today, I'm going to be interviewing not a Goomba, but a GALoomba!

Galoomba: ...every minute wasted leads to a bigger chance of me getting fired.

Geoff: Lighten UP! Seriously buddy, I've seen cheerier people at funerals! So, are you guys a type of Goomba, or are you a completely unrelated species?

Galoomba: We're actually completely different creatures altogether, we just so happen to share some resemblances to Goombas like a brown, small body and no legs. Unfortunately, Nintendo didn't get the memo which explains the Goomba name until 3D World.

Geoff: Weird, and here I go thinking you were relatives. So, where exactly do Galoombas live anyway?

Galoomba: In Dinosaur Land, you moron! Did you even PLAY Super Mario World?

Geoff: Good LORD you're rude! What did I ever do to you?

Stuart: Well um... boss, if you don't mind me saying this, you DID kidnap him.

Geoff: Huh... I guess I did. But anyway, that's still no excuse! Why are you guys so rare in the first place? I mean, you've only been enemies in what, two games?

Galoomba: Bowser doesn't really have a lot of Galoombas serving him, so it's natural that you wouldn't be seeing them all that often. As for not appearing often as say, friendly NPC's in spin offs, you can chalk that up to Nintendo once again failing to distinguish us from Goombas. We're actually pretty common around the world!

Geoff: So, do you guys have a Galoomba King or a Galoomboss who rules over you?

Galoomba: Nope! Instead, Dinosaur Land's Galoomba communities all answer to President Galoomba! We have a representative government, you see.

Geoff: Interesting, you don't really see those that often around these parts! So where were the winged Galoombas during 3D World's events?

Galoomba: Unlike Paragoombas, us Galoombas are not capable of growing wings. All winged Galoombas you saw in Super Mario World were just soldiers using enchanted wings on loan from Bowser. Bowser realized that wasting those resources was pointless, so boom! No wings in 3D World.

Geoff: So do you guys have a thing for parachutes?

Galoomba: We can navigate the air much easier when we skydive as opposed to flying! That's why Bowser recruited a bunch of us as dive-bombers, we fight more efficiently that way!

Geoff: That's pretty neat! So how come you guys get flipped over when you're jumped on instead of squished?

Galoomba: Unlike Goombas, we're built to last! When we get jumped on the head normally, it only jostles us instead of flat-out incapacitates us!

Geoff: But you're still defeated by a jump after you're flipped over.

Galoomba: We have squishy undersides. Don't blame me!

Geoff: Slow it down, captain! I'm blaming no one here... well, except for Stuart.

Stuart: Hey, what did I do?

Geoff: You know what you did... I'm watching you. But anyway, how come your kind is so much more fragile in 3D World? In that game, kicking you after you're flipped over defeats you unlike in World where you can be grabbed and tossed around!

Galoomba: World happened before the Mario Bros and friends started to play soccer. After playing regularly their kicking power became much stronger, so come 3D World one kick spells the end for us!

Geoff: Alright buddy, one last question then it's time for the audience to ask you stuff! Are you capable of headbonking your enemies like Goombas?

Galoomba: No, we instead opt for running and biting. It may not work often, but believe me when I tell you that you do NOT want to be chomped by a Galoomba! Now can I PLEASE leave?

Geoff: I already said that you're answering audience questions, so no! Just a little longer!

Galoomba: D'oh!

Geoff: Seat LAZYFATMAGIKOOPA!

Wizenheimer: HEY! That's not my seat name and you know it!

Geoff: Ask a question, and please lay off the donuts!

Wizenheimer: Why ya lousy sack of- whatever. You're my boss, so unfortunately I can't curse ya. Anyway Galoomba, were you in any of the games?

Galoomba: I was one of the Galoombas situated in the Forest of Illusion during Super Mario World. I've since retired from military life and taken a nice quiet desk job here in Mushroom City THAT I MIGHT LOSE THANKS TO YOU, YOU STUPID BANDIT!

Geoff: You keep acting up, and I'm not letting you out until we get to Sherbert Land! Seat OLDCRUSTYRLEEERMEYREFERENCE!

Lee: You there! First, I would recommend you stand down and quit back-talking my superior! And second, why on earth do your kind show up in bubbles during Super Mario World?

Galoomba: We had Magikoopas enchanting us by placing us in giant bubbles. For some levels, they set up entire bubble blockades hoping that we could overwhelm Mario with our vast numbers and surprising speed. I shouldn't have to tell you how that turned out.

Lee: Bah, get better combat tactics! You're no better than Goombas!

Galoomba: What are we supposed to do?! We don't have arms, the Mario Bros are spastic jumpers-

Galoomba: You keep talking back to me, and I'll fix that attitude problem of yours on the double!

Geoff: That old Snifit's quite the spitfire, huh? Seat SUPERSLEEPYSECRETARY!

Polly: Zzz...

Geoff: She sure lives up to her name alright. Seat IMANALIENDRAGONDONTAMA!

Skarg: What stats would you have in a Paper Mario game?

Galoomba: 6 HP, 2 Attack, 1 Defense!

Geoff: Driver's seat!

Sam: Oh! Um... well, do you think that your kind have any chances of showing up in more games?

Galoomba: Yep. Nintendo seems to remember that we're completely different from normal Goombas if 3D World and Mario Party 10 are any indication.

Geoff: And that's it!

Galoomba: Oh FINALLY! Now can I PLEASE go?

Geoff: Sure, sure you big baby! Now out the window you go!

Galoomba: No wait!

Sergei throws the window open and tosses the Galoomba out onto the street.

Polly: Sir... you threw someone out of a moving vehicle! He could be dead!

Geoff: He'll be fine, Galoombas are sturdy little fellas! I wouldn't deliberately kill him would I?

The Galoomba gets up from the ground and starts swearing angrily at him.

Geoff: Eesh, cheerful little fella, ain't he?

Sam facepalms while everyone else except for Stuart, George, and Skarg rolls their eyes.

Geoff: Anyway Sam, don't stop for anything! Keep on going, because we have so many places to go to and so little time to do it! Oh, Marie!

Marie: Yeah boss?

Geoff: Were you filming that interview this whole time?

Marie: Yup! Just lemme end the transmission real quick...

Marie touches the camera, but her ghostly energy causes it to spaz out and shut off by itself, thus ending the transmission.


(Author's Note: Another interview out already? Yep... and most of it is a subplot. Lovely. Anyway, I was pretty enthusiastic after completing the Lemmy interview that I went ahead and whipped this up! I like the way it's set up: an entire "season" of interviews if you will during a road trip! I think I'll write one more interview, then resume my Popple and Crump Fan/Fun Fic. I can't keep neglecting that, now!)


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