Wario and Waluigi's Maximon Adventure
Chapter One: Are They Real?
Once upon a time in the Mushroom Kingdom, there were two idiots known by the names of Wario Wario and Waluigi Wario. Why were their last names Wario? I don't know. Anyway, the Wario Bros. were thieves. Incompetent thieves. And they did other stuff too. Like opening up a pawn shop that failed after three days. But that's another story. Today, we're gonna talk about the time the Wario Bros. went on a Pokemon-type journey. That's right, they walked the earth going on a journey with knockoffs. On the way, crazy stuff happened. And in the end, oh wait that doesn't even matter because we're starting at the beginning, not at the end. Now, here's the story you've been expecting for about a minute, described in full detail.
Wario was watching children's TV. No, wait, he was watching a cartoon based on him and Waluigi. Why did they have their own cartoon, I don't know.
"Sheesh, these commercials are boring." said Wario.
Of course they are, Wario, it's just child-targeted toy and food commercials mixed in with life insurance commercials...that aren't even good!
"Shut up!" the yellow-hatted man yelled.
Then, a commercial for an about-to-be famous fad came on.
Larry Koopa was on TV. He said to a young Mushroomer, "Have you ever bought a trading card game, and found out that some of them are duplicates?"
"Uhh, yes?" said the TV boy.
"Well, then try out our new Maximon trading card game! There is no duplicates, AND you get 60 cards in ONE package for $37.97! What a deal!" replied Larry.
Larry continued pitching the card game. "And also, for a limited time, you can get TWO Maximon card packages in ONE bundle for $50, and we're even including a free randomly selected Maximon action figure! Yes, a reduced bundle price, an action figure, 120 cards, WHAT CAN GO WRONG?"
The Mushroomer got more excited. "Alright! Awesome! I think I will buy that bundle instead! No, wait, I'll buy two! Three! Four! Maybe TEN?"
The Koopaling kept on hamming it up. "BUT WAIT CHILDREN! There's more we have to tell you about! Catch the Maximon television series on Lil' Mushroom's Animation Block on MBN! IT FEATURES ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE MAXIMON! KOOPA TROOPA! GOOMBA! BOO! CHEEP CHEEP! AND MANY, MANY, MORE! I CAN'T STOP SCREAMIN'!"
"There's a cartoon too? I WANNA SEE I WANNA SEE I WANNA SEE!" The Mushroomer took off and disappeared.
Larry continued. "Yes, little boy! *addresses viewers* QUICK! WATCH THE CARTOON AND PLAY THE CARD GAME AND YOU'LL BE FINE! IF YOU DON'T DO AS I SAY, YOU'LL BURN TO DEATH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The commercial ended, and Wario became extremely excited. "Wow! This makes me want to...WATCH THE CARTOON AND GET THE CARDS!" He started running out of the house. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-D'OH!" A net got him. He had been captured by his mother!
"Where do you think you're going?" said Mom.
Wario became nervous. "To-to-to-to-to-to-go rob a bank?"
"Alright! Have fun!" Mom lifted the net, and Wario walked back inside. When his mother was out of sight, he ran off.
Wario ran to the local Toys 'R' Us downtown. When he entered, he bought all the remaining Maximon merchandise in the shop. Even the stuff in the storage room. He brought the stuff to the checkout.
The checkout man scanned everything. He then informed Wario, "Ok. The total cost of all this stuff is 15,331 coins, plus tax."
"OK." Wario checked his pockets. To his displeasure – he had only 2,000 coins. (Dun dun dun!) "I can't pay you!"
"Well, too bad! You can either take out half of this stuff and buy it later...’’ said the checkout guy. ‘’Or you can leave and take your business elsewhere!"
Wario took the stuff away, stuffed it in a couple of bags, and punched the checkout guy. He then did the Nelson Muntz laugh. "Ha-ha! I'm a professional robber! You should've known better!" He walked out.
The checkout guy called the police. A few minutes later...
"Put your hands up!" a policeman commanded.
Wario acted stubborn. "No!"
"Put your hands up!" said another police officer.
Wario wouldn't budge. "No way!" he yelled.
"PUT YOUR HANDS UP OR WE'LL TASER YOU!" said a big, burly policewoman.
Wario ran away like a coward while the police chased after him. He ran back to his and Waluigi's house.
"Hello!" said Waluigi. "Why are you panting like that?"
Wario dropped the stuff on the floor. "Because the police are after me."
The police burst through the door. The policewoman pulled out a taser and got Wario. The police took the stuff back to Toys 'R' Us, and the thief to prison.
Six months later after breaking out, Wario came back.
"Alright, Waluigi. Let's take it easy and not do anything bad for a while, OK?" he said.
Waluigi replied, "Shouldn't I be saying that to you instead? You're the one you took the Maximon stuff in the first place."
"Whatever. I'm the smarter one anyway." Wario sat on the (stolen) sofa and turned on the TV. There it was – Maximon in its anime-like glory. And it was a marathon of it too. He stayed glued to the television for the next few hours. When it was over, he turned to his brother and said, "This looks like the most interesting TV show in the world... I want to be a trainer too!"
"Are you sure about this, Wario?" asked Waluigi. "You know these creatures aren't real."
"Oh, they are real. One of my cellmates said they were. I mean, he worked for one of those evil organizations were they capture Maximon and hold them for ransom."
Waluigi yelled at Wario. "THEY'RE NOT REAL, WARIO. They don't exist. That guy must be crazy anyway. Kidnapping innocent animals."
"... You may have a point. The guy was crazy. But still, they're real. I've seen them in pictures online and in magazines. There's really all kinds of Maximon living with us on this planet. Rock-types, water-types, fire-types, grass-types, normal-types, electric-types..."
"Dark-types, stupid-types, animal-types, object-types, fairy-types..." mocked Waluigi. "Come on!"
"It doesn't matter what you think – I want you to come with me on my journey. I want to escape the police and the IRS. Besides, it'll grant us the opportunity to capture some Maximon and train them to become ridiculously powerful. We can use them to help us out with our OWN purposes. Like, showing off how strong our Maximon are, stealing money from banks, stealing stuff from stores and houses, helping us promote our businesses, etcera, etcera, etcera..." Wario stopped when he saw Waluigi sleeping. He slapped him. "Wake up, you idiot."
"Ohhh... What are we gonna do again?" said Waluigi.
"...Let's get ready, alright?’’ said Wario.
After getting ready, Wario and Waluigi walked out together a few hours later, carrying backpacks. They walked over to their beaten-up car, got in, and drove away to the local professor's Maximon laboratory. As Wario was driving, Waluigi attempted to start a conversation.
"So... I brought this book." He pulled out a book: "THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MAXIMON TRAINING: 4th Edition". "This should help you train your Maximon.’’
"Gimme!" Wario grabbed the book, looked through it a few seconds, then threw the book out of the car.
"Hey! Why did you do that?" asked Waluigi, who was peeved.
Wario explained. "The book is too long."
"But-" Waluigi stopped and sighed. Things like this were bound to happen with the two. "Good thing I bought another copy," he thought.
A few miles later...
"Can you put on some music?"
Wario stopped the car. "Fine..." He put in a mixtape in the car's tape deck and pressed the play button. Loud music started piping in through the speakers. Wario started driving the car.
"Aaahhhh... This is the life, isn't it my fine friend?" he said.
"You don't have good taste in music. I mean, what is this? I prefer ballads over this piece of stuff," Waluigi complained.
"Oh, be quiet. And this is HEAVY BLACK DEATH METAL, the loudest, screamingest, torturous music imaginable. You have no idea how good it is." said Wario.
The tape crinkled.
"See? It's so good, the tape player refuses to play it through normally," he continued.
As Wario took the tape out, he decided to ask Waluigi a couple of questions.
"How many Maximon are located on this earth?"
"Uhh..." Waluigi got out his other copy of the book, and located the answer. "206?"
"CORRECT!" Wario cried out. "Hey, no fair! You cheated!"
Waluigi defended himself. "Look, Wario, you cheat all the time! Why do you care?"
"Because I do! Gimme that book!" yelled Wario.
Waluigi surrendered and gave the book to the yellow-wearing crook. He looked through it, found it interesting, and put it under his feet. And somehow he didn't manage to stop or crash the car for reasons unknown.
As the Wario Bros. continued to search for the professor, they talked to each other, annoyed each other, and dined at ultra-fancy Antarctican restaurants. (When their meal was finished, they walked out without paying.) They didn't bring a map, because Wario said they didn't need one. Because of this, they were constantly lost and kept asking random people for directions.
And a few days later, they were STILL driving. It turned out that they'd completely missed the lab, and so they drove all the way back to it. Idiots.
When the Wario Bros. finally arrived, they complimented the building a little.
"That's a really nice building," said Wario.
"Yeah... But you should've noticed that thing a long time ago; too bad you had to get lost!" replied Waluigi.
"Shaddup. Let's go inside. I wanna see what starter Maximon they have."
Wario and Waluigi got out of the car with their stuff and walked inside.
Little did they know that some ferocious Team Rock-err, Fracket grunts were hiding behind the building.
"Ok, guys. You ready to go get some Maximon to take to the boss?" said the leader of the grunts, Mick Darsley.
"Yes! We're ready!" answered the minions.
"Good. Get inside." The Fracket grunts ran off and before they got in, they saw the Wario Bros.' car.
"Oooh! A car!" said a grunt. He inspected the car. "Smells like the 1980s! Let's steal it!"
"No way, Jack. We gotta get to the starter Maximon before the trainers take them." said another grunt.
"Oh. Ok, then we'll steal it after we raid this place." said Jack.
"Hurry it up there, you morons!" commanded Mick. He and the rest of the Fracket grunts entered the laboratory.
To be continued...
Writing your own fun fiction? Submit it!
Go back to Fun Fiction.
Go back to the main page.