Koffee Beans

By Green Lakitu

Chapter 2: Wood You or Woodn't You

In the courtyard park, Kep can be seen trying to "squish" the Pink Berry wood he has together.

Kep: "Hgggh! Hnggh! How do I build this? I've got it! I need a glue gun!"

Kep picks up all his wood, hoists it in front of his face, and runs to Toad Town.

Kep: "Oh mmph, thimph is hmmvh!"

Kep knocks on the item shop's door.

Storekeeper Toad: "What can I get you?"

Kep: "Hmllph! I am stmmph a fmmne drmmphing mmphstmmshmment! I wmmph like a glmmph gum to bill my nmmph stormph!"

Shopkeeper: "Gum? I have that! Do you want Peachy Keen or Koopa Tea Leaf?"

Kep: "Nmphh! I neem a glmmph gum! The kmmph you ooth to glmmph woom tmmgemmth!"

Shopkeeper: "Blueberry? Good thing you asked! They just discontinued it!"

The shopkeeper places a small box on one of the planks.

Shopkeeper: "That will be 2 Coins!"

Kep: "Cmmph yumph plump geth ith om of mmm shrll?"

Kep turns around so the shopkeeper can get the coins.

Shopkeeper: *sigh* "To think the laundromat makes THEM pay for having money in their clothes..."

The shopkeeper takes the money, and Kep walks off.

Kep: "Okamph, leth see who I know who can ooth a glooth gum. Maybeth Warioth can helth me!"

Kep tirelessly runs down to Wario's Castle and knocks on the door.

???: "Hello! You've reached Wario's automated help service that he did not steal from Mario! For how much can he help you?"

Kep: "Umph, helloth Warioth! I neeth health with my nooth glmmph gum. Can you health me?"

The door opens, revealing Wario sitting at a desk with a red-and-blue microphone.

Wario: Did you say blueberry gum? They stopped producing that flavor! Of course I can help you with it!"

Wario swipes the gum off of Kep's stack of wood.

Wario: "Thanks a bunch, pal! Maybe I'll remember this later!"

Wario slams the door back on Kep's face.

Kep: "Welth, what a waits of thyme. Bath to the mortyarm parm, I geth..."

As Kep starts back to the park, he spots a poster on Wario's Castle.

"Are you sick and tired of being treated like everyone's enemy? Are you ready to realize your purpose in life? Are people stealing your gum one time too many? Join the Koopa Troop today! We have funding programs that can realize your wildest dreams! Signups are at King Bowser's Castle in Dark Land."

Kep: "Thay, thath noth a mad ideam. I shalm meet with thith Ming Bowsem today!"

Kep hails a taxi.

Kep: "Ticketh form one to Darth Lam, pleath!"

The cab driver Toad, who is strangely wearing a surgical mask, is talking on a cell phone.

Taxi Toad: "Yeah, yeah, Wario, I've got this-"

He quickly flips the phone shut.

Taxi Toad: "Well, isn't it your lucky day? You're the 920th customer! You get a free ride!"

Kep gets in the cab, ready to get his restaurant up.

Will Kep be able to get a grant from Bowser? Will Kep actually be able to meet Bowser? Will Kep even get out of the cab without tripping? Find out in Chapter 3!

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